Hair today

I've struggled to straighten my hair.
Last week the hairdresser gave me smooth layers that left me looking like a mature footballer's wife. I felt great. My son told me I looked like "Rachel in Friends" - I said, "Don't you mean Rachel's mother?" and he made a face that told me that was closer to the truth - and I didn't mind. But when I tried to do the same style myself - my hair looked flat and punished by all those restraining chemicals.
So, I've given up - today it is back to curls. Immediately, there is a reaction - husband, son, mechanic - they all comment favourably on the curly me.
What do other 40-50-something women do about their hair? We're not ready for the shampoo and set, but the cookie-cutter hair fashions that flatter younger faces can be a disaster.